Father’s Day is typically less heralded in comparison to Mother’s Day. As we are approaching the annual celebration of fathers around the world, I would like to consider the relationship I have with my dad.
I love my dad, that’s a given. But sometimes I forget to appreciate him, take him for granted, and a lot of times, I forget that as much as I am excited about launching myself as quickly as a rocket to the ‘real world’, my father is going through the process of having a child raced out of his arms.
We often hear a lot of difficulties in the relationship between a parent and a teenage child, but what about the challenges in maintaining relationship between a father and an adult daughter? It is expected that as we grow, as we change, so, too, must our relationship with our fathers change.
I know for a fact that no matter how old we get – we can have children/grandchildren of our own and age 76 – but we will always be our parents’ child. So here are a few things, which I believe, are helpful for myself as well as anyone on maintaining healthy adult relationship with their father:
- A new relationship, one between mature adults rather than “parent” and “child”. Although yes, we will always be somebody’s child, but that does not mean we should behave like a child. You already have the foundation – love and shared memories. Add mutual respect and common interests and you may find a more fulfilling relationship with your dad than any you’ve had since childhood.
- Empathy.
- Stop trying to change him. Instead, think of how we can change our behavior to better interact with them.
- Establish boundaries with him. Let him know when he oversteps your boundaries, with a lot of empathy and love. Hey, it isn’t easy for a father to have his children tell him that he had stepped over their boundaries, so the least we could do is to do it with grace.
- Know your limits. Sometimes spending time with family can be as taxing as it is enjoyable. Know your limits for family time and put yourself first. Don’t feel guilty about establishing boundaries.
- Notice and acknowledge what he did, still does and will probably continue to do for you. Thank him for these things.
- Remain in contact – reply his messages, even when it is a selfie (especially if it is a selfie!), or a picture of a random person posing weirdly...
Above all, be the adult that you are, and remind yourself of how much you appreciate your father, and you are sure to maintain a healthy relationship with him. After all, the good times you have spent with your family are the ones that are best remembered.
Happy Father’s Day!
TSY