… yourself.
In conjunction with the practice of seeking and giving forgiveness on Hari Raya or otherwise known as Eid, let us all learn a little about giving forgiveness.
We often hear about that saying, “Forgive and Forget”. How many of you think that this is easier said than done?
- Why should we allow the ones who have wronged us the pleasure of forgiveness? How can I ever let that person off the hook so easily? The pain is just too strong, I can’t.
Think of one person who have wronged you in the past – how does it make you feel whenever you think of this person/ memory related to this person? This is what goes on inside of you, so – who are suffering here?
Lily Tomlin wrote that, “Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past”. Too often we keep telling the story of how we have been wronged by people. Maybe we do it to seek attention and sympathy, maybe we keep telling the same story because it allows us to hide behind the veil of the victim that never needs to change. However, what if forgiving could allow us to let go of all the pain in the memory and inevitably let go of the control the memory has on us?
“When memory controls us we are then the puppets of the past” – Alexandra Asseily.
Forgiveness, by no means, is to condone or excuse any hurtful, aggressive, or violent behavior committed. It is meant to help us cultivate understanding and compassion in order for the ones who are suffering to come to terms with the way things are in the present, and slowly let go of allowing the pain of the past to still be occurring in this present moment.
Forgiveness is a process, yes. However, it starts with a decision. Once you decide to change your story, you get your happy ending.
Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Batin!